Home

Getting The Opposite Of What You Want

By Ruth Barringham

Have you ever wondered why you never seem to get what you want?

I’ve been there myself. For instance, when I first wanted to be a writer, I did a correspondence course (not much internet around in those days) and I read a few books about how to plot a novel, what a short story needs, how to find the correct adjectives, etc.

But all this didn’t help me much. I had the theory of story plotting and writing and knew the correct words to use, and I’d completed my writing course and had a couple of stories published in magazines, but it wasn’t helping me to become a writer. And by that I mean, I was still going to work every day and doing the writing in my ‘spare’ time.

Then it occurred to me what was wrong. It wasn’t what I was doing that was wrong, but rather my attitude towards it.

I realised that I was fitting my writing around other things instead of making my writing my priority. In other words, I wasn’t thinking like a writer. I was thinking like a person who had a job and a family to look after.

So I decided to be a writer in my own mind. Even though I didn’t have as much time as I wanted to write, I’d make more time to do it. I’d act like a writer. A writer would write every day, even at the weekends, and get their work published. So that is what I did.

I learned how to create a website, I did a course in Quick Cash Writing (which is a course in writing for magazines, etc for quick cash) and I started making money from both. My website brought me passive income, while my freelance writing brought me immediate income.

So it wasn’t long before I quit my job and took on another one with only part-time hours so I could spend more time working online and freelance writing. And because I was putting more thought and effort into my writing instead of into my job, it wasn’t long before I gave up working for someone else and started working full time as a writer.

The turning point for my success was simply changing my thinking and seeing myself as a writer instead of someone who wrote as a hobby.

And it’s the same with anyone who wants something. It doesn’t matter if you want to be an athlete, an artist, a golfer, play baseball or improve your finances.

Unless you completely focus on it, what you want seems to run away from you faster than you’re running to it. Even if you push yourself to do something, it never seems to happen.

Instead you need to focus on the process of what to do and then the results will follow. And the emphasis is on the word ‘focus.’

For example, if you want a million dollars, become the person worthy of having a million dollars. Stop thinking small and playing small. Do things that will help you move towards being a millionaire instead of scrimping and refusing to invest on things that will help you.

Just remember this equation:

Thinking + Process + Small Steps + Change in Habits = Your Major Goal Reached.

So learn the techniques you need understand, focus on the process, and in your mind, become a millionaire, a world-class athlete or a best selling author.

But until you see yourself as the person achieving your goal, you’ll never make it.

And this is the basis of Psycho Cybernetics.